Today I want to talk to you about how to bounce back deliberately when you find yourself feeling stuck or in an emotional funk.
Last week we talked about how, at times, it can be difficult to bounce back. We all struggle with this at one point or another. And for some of us, this lower emotional funk may go on for years without much relief.
If you didn’t read last week’s article or listen to it through the Simply Authentic podcast, I encourage you to go do that now. In it, I provide an exercise to help you become more aware of your emotional set-point throughout the day, complete with a downloadable Emotion Scale and Daily Emotion tracking worksheet.
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The more I learn about energy and how we are all connected, the more deeply I realize how so much of my research is still leading me to solutions of my own.
I love sharing what I learn with others, but I am learning as I go, too. It’s an inevitable part of researching and discovering new things.
None of us is done learning or exploring or growing. There is always more to learn and today’s topic is no different.
Bouncing Back is an Inherent Skill
We inherently know how to bounce back. But we aren’t really taught how to bring ourselves out of a funk intentionally.
At times, a more deliberate approach is necessary and today, I’m going to share with you how to bounce back with intention.
No one wants to feel pained or be overwhelmed with negative feelings. It’s not a fun place to be.
If we’re not aware of our emotions and the effect they’re having, we can spiral further downward and remain there for quite a long time before we manage to pick ourselves back up. And some of us may find it impossible to do without help.
Get Outside Help When Needed
Never be afraid or embarrassed to ask for help when you’re feeling an emotional funk or low point in life. It’s not your fault that you’re stuck at a low point. It doesn’t mean you did anything wrong or that you’re not “as good as” someone else.
Negative energy feels heavy. It weighs us down. The strongest man or most resilient woman can still struggle with bouncing back. It’s not always easy to do alone and the exercise I share with you today is not an alternative to seeking help from others when it’s needed.
This is a supplementary exercise to help you make a deliberate move toward a more positive emotional set-point.
Using Our Emotions as a Life Compass
When we feel good and we are experiencing positive emotions, we are in alignment with our desires and we are open to receiving them.
When we are experiencing negative emotions, we are resisting our desires and keeping them from actually becoming a reality.
We do this subconsciously every day. And until you learn to recognize the pattern in yourself, it can be difficult to change.
As we move up the emotional scale we are less in a state of resistance and more in a state of allowing. In other words, the better you feel, the less you are resisting the flow of energy and well-being that exists all around and through you and everything you see.
It is your birthright to live a beautiful life, full of joy, love, happiness, and well-being. No one is more deserving of this than you.
We are all connected. We all deserve to be happy and to be loved. We are all capable of deliberately creating the life we desire.
We’ve just gotten a little lost in thought along the way. It’s easy to do.
On Average, You’re Only Present 5% of the Time
Just this week, Lydia Singleton, the Spiritual Leader at Unity of Appleton reminded us that, “on average, we spend only 5% of our day in conscious thought.” That means that for the other 95% of the day we’re lost in sub-conscious thought.
So for only 5% of our day we’re feeling a good flow of energy and we’re emotionally positive and allowing our desires to become a reality.
The rest of the time, we’re lost in thoughts about the past or the future. We’re not truly present and experiencing life.
It’s no wonder that so many people find it hard to bounce back from an emotional funk!
We don’t even realize we’re lost in thought and resisting the flow of energy that is inherently ours to use for creating the life we desire.
Deliberate Creation is really about deliberately achieving an emotional state. – Ester Hicks, Author of Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires
How to Bounce Back Deliberately
When you find yourself experiencing any emotions that are #9 through #22 according to the Emotional Scale, you can take a moment to switch gears.
All we need to do is focus on thoughts that might bring us up to the next higher emotional feeling.
There are really only 2 steps to remember.
1. Determine what you’re feeling
Ask yourself, Do I feel powerless or powerful? You may not feel either, but which one feels closer in this moment?
If you feel closer to powerless than to powerful, look at the chart again and narrow the range.
Do I feel more like I’m powerless or frustrated? If you still feel more powerless than frustrated, narrow it again.
Do I feel more like I’m powerless or worried? Continue this process until you can pinpoint what you’re feeling.
There is no right or wrong here either. You can’t mess it up. Any work you do to raise your emotional set point will be helpful to you. So don’t fret over getting this right.
2. Focus on thoughts that offer relief
Once you know where you are on the emotional scale, try to find thoughts that allow you to feel just one emotional state above where you are currently.
For example, if you’re currently feeling Rage over something, you’d want to try to feel thoughts of Revenge.
This may not sound like a “good thing” but revenge is a step in the right direction. The key to this process on how to bounce back is through taking baby steps.
Example Life Experience Scenario:
Let’s pretend for a moment that you’ve had a long day. You have been working for several hours on a presentation that you need for tomorrow and then your computer gets hung up. It won’t respond and won’t recover. You are forced to reboot it.
When you bring the laptop back up, your heart sinks. Most of the work you had done is now gone.
You feel dispair and powerlessness. You feel jealousy over your co-workers that aren’t working late and dealing with this. And then you feel your emotions transition to rage.
You feel enraged because of how hard you worked only to lose it all. As if working late wasn’t bad enough, your evening and any plans you had for sleep are now completely ruined!
You feel enraged over the fact that you’re working on an outdated laptop that has issues despite requesting a new one from IT several times.
You’re so upset that you struggle to not just throw the laptop across the room!
Based on the scenario described above, your emotional state or set-point is Rage. If you reference the Emotion Scale further up on this page, you’ll see that one step up from rage is Revenge. That is your next closest target that would move you a step in the right direction.
To deliberately transition yourself out of this negative thought pattern, you would begin by focusing on thoughts that make you feel revengeful.
When doing this, it can be helpful to write down or say out loud things such as:
- I don’t even need this job! I should just quit! That would show them!!
- The next time I see so-and-so, I’m going to give them a piece of my mind.
- As soon as I get my new laptop, then they’ll all be jealous.
Don’t worry if you feel childish or silly while doing this! That too will help! But chances are, when you’re in the moment, thoughts from the next emotion higher than your current state will only provide an outlet and some relief.
Think of when someone says, “I just need to vent.” That’s exactly what you’re doing here, but with intention and with a deliberate strategy and goal in mind.
After you’ve exhausted ways to express revenge, move on up to thoughts of Anger:
- Everyone knows I’m working on this late and no one cares that I’m doing it all on my own!
- It makes me so angry that everyone is so oblivious to all the work I put in!
Once you really feel the anger, move up to the next level that comes easily for you. Maybe you’ll find that you can move two steps up. Just go at whatever pace feels attainable and spend as much time on any given emotion for as long as you need to.
Next after anger would be Discouragement:
- I’ll never be able to get this done in time now.
- I’ll be up all night working on this…AGAIN!
- If IT had gotten me a new laptop 3 months ago when I asked, this wouldn’t be happening right now.
- If Jane would have gotten me the information I’d asked for last week, I would have had more time to finish this up without working late.
- I wouldn’t even be in this situation at all if I’d gotten the promotion I deserved instead of Jeff.
- This presentation is never going to be as good as it was before.
- I”ll never be able to remember everything I wrote.
- I’ve lost at least 5 hours of work and it’s already 9:30 at night!
- I’m so tired and I wasn’t even DONE yet when I lost all that work.
- This is impossible.
- Why did I have to be the one who was “voluntold” to put together this final presentation?
- Others should have been assigned more.
- No one cares how late I have to stay up or how long this is taking.
- No one appreciates all that I do.
TIP: Don't Forget to Breathe!
Oftentimes at this point, you find yourself starting to accept your current situation or life experience.
You might also find yourself taking large, deep breaths. This is a sub-conscious way that your body tries to relax and release tension and stress.
Remembering to take deep breaths followed by complete exhales will help you to relax and transition to higher vibrations more quickly.
Breathe in through the nose and out through the mouth. This gets oxygen to your higher brain quickly. This stimulates your higher brain which will help to signal the rest of your body to relax and transition back to a more positive emotional vibration.
- Let’s see where I’m at in 3 hours. Maybe I can get this done.
- I’ve done all of this once, so the second time around has to be faster.
- I’m sure I’ll remember most of what I did so it won’t be like starting from scratch.
- I have my caffeine and I’m ready to go.
- I’ve got this.
- I can get this done.
- My skills and expertise really show through in this presentation.
- This presentation is so good and I can’t wait to be able to share it with everyone tomorrow.
- These kinds of challenges are part of what make me a stronger person.
- My co-workers really did provide me with a lot of material I can use as-is. I was tweaking it a lot before but I don’t need to do that because they really went the extra mile to do their part, too.
- Everything happens for a reason.
- I will come out of this ahead.
- No one else could pull this off.
- I’m good at what I do. That’s why they wanted me to put this together.
- The final presentation will be awesome and now I also have a great story to tell.
- This presentation is great.
- Everything ended up fitting together nicely.
- It really wasn’t that bad of a loss afterall. It was actually good.
- The presentation is now better and much stronger than it was before.
- I’m glad this all happened.
- Life is good and I still will get 5 hours of sleep which is just enough for me to feel rested for tomorrow.
- Life is perfect.
As you work your way up the emotional scale, you may lose sight as to why you were upset in the first place, and that’s okay. The goal is to deliberately move toward better feeling thoughts.
How Long Does It Take to Bounce Back?
How long it takes to bounce back all depends on where you are and how long you’ve been at that emotional set point.
If you’ve been sick or depressed for a long time, it can take time to work your way back out of it.
But even if all you could do was raise your vibration by one emotional set-point every day, it would at most, take you 22 days to find joy again.
If you compare 22 days to the years you’ve been stuck feeling like nothing would ever change or ever get better, 22 days is nothing. It’s a walk in the park.
The goal is baby steps.
Another thing to keep in mind, actions sometimes speak louder than words. As you’re working your way from emotional set-point to another, and you feel inspired to go do something that would make you feel better then do it.
I don’t mean act out thoughts of revenge on someone or doing something harmful to yourself or someone else. Heavens no.
What I’m talking about is when you feel inspired to go out and get some fresh air. Go for a walk. Take a hike in the woods. Being out in nature and even out with friends can be very uplifting.
How Can You Help Others Bounce Back?
You can help others bounce back in a couple of ways.
First, have some compassion and patience. No one can just snap out of a negative place. Gently help them figure out what emotional set-point they’re currently feeling.
Be present with them and listen without judging. Empathize with what they’re feeling and imagine yourself in their shoes. It will help you to be present.
Second, either share this system with them on how to bounce back or help guide them through it by asking them to fill in the blanks when you suggest feelings.
Prompt them to fill in the blank with “I feel angry because….,” or “I feel discouraged because…”
Have them keep going with each emotion exhaust “I statements” for each emotion.
Just remember to take baby steps as you help them move up the emotional scale. Create a loving safe place to allow them to express their feelings and emotions.
If you found this information to be helpful for you, please take a moment to share it with others who might also find it helpful.
I also highly recommend you pick up a copy of Esther and Jerry Hicks’ Book called Ask and It Is Given: Learning to Manifest Your Desires where you will find more information on this technique for raising your vibration and many others.